To start this journey, especially in regards to blogging, I have taken inspiration from an email from WordPress asking why I write. This is my response :
‘Shut up; be quiet; your opinion does not matter; you are nothing.’ For many years I have been told this. My school years, over thirty years ago, sought to bully me into silence and for many years they did just that. I became shy and introverted. I became quiet and felt so inconsequential. So much so, at 14 I wrote this:
I am nobody,
I’m nothing special,
That’s all they see
That is why
Must be content to be
I suppose, looking back, this was my voice, but it was a mere whisper and only said in shadows. It took years before I released this poem to a wider audience. But I have dispelled this feeling. I am special but that actually comes from being content with being just me and not being bothered by what others consider me to be.
So why do I write? I suppose because I can, and I will not be silenced. As another blogger quite rightly stated, ‘I have a voice’ (Yanna Marie), and I totally agree with her. Writing also gives an outlet, to let loose those frustrations and hurts, those thoughts that are better allowed to fly rather than internalising them. Above all, I write because it feels good and I enjoy the finished result (even if others may not) but I do get a thrill out of responses. There is still a part of me that seeks to be valued. There is still that little boy just wanting to fit in.